I used to be a runner. Not a jogger, but a runner. 70+ miles a week. 7:00 miles as my easy day pace. Sub 3:00 marathons as standard business. That was a long time ago. In those days, I remember seeing "joggers" at races and feeling both a sense of pity and disdain. How could they call what they were doing 'running?' Wasn't it kind of sad they got all excited trotting home in their pathetically slow times? What is even the point of entering a 'race' if one is that horribly slow? Should they be allowed to wear the same race t-shirt as those of us who beat them home by 10-20 minutes? I used to jog back out the last couple miles of the course on my cooldown and think these (and other) uncharitable thoughts about the stragglers coming in.
I also used to dislike the Parable of the Workers in the Field found in Matthew 20. Seriously. I knew it must have some worth since it was in the Bible and all, but I totally related to the workers who get pissed off in it. They were the ones that showed up at the start of the day and put in a hard day's work and got the pay they agreed to. They are furious because a bunch of slackers that come along late in the afternoon and work for an hour got the same amount of pay. These slackers didn't deserve a full day's pay! I didn't want to admit it, but I really resonated with them and couldn't figure out just why Jesus thought they had a bad attitude.
Well, a few things have happened in the intervening years. From a running standpoint, I've kind of fallen apart. I've developed some arthritis in my right hip that significantly limits its range of motion and causes various muscular problems. And, I'm a good deal bigger now than when I ran all those miles at sub 7:00 pace. Spiritually, I've failed a lot more now than in my early days as a Christian. I've discovered that my ability to "get it right" spiritually, is virtually non-existent. I've had ministry failures in Young Life, seen relationships gone bad, and witnessed first hand the ways in which my selfishness and weakness can hurt my wife and children.
I'm not sure when it happened, but somewhere around a decade ago, I started using the Parable of the Workers in the Field in youth ministry talks and Bible studies. And, using it because I loved it. "We are all 5:00 workers, aren't we? That's the beauty of it. None of us are the all-day workers, even if we think we are." The parable hadn't changed, but I, and my understanding of myself in relationship to it certainly had. No longer was it a parable that I just had to grit my teeth and deal with even though it wasn't fair. It had become a beautiful story of God's mercy to all of us!
So, I ran a 6.5 mile trail race yesterday. I went out right at the pace I intended, made a bit of a move at the half-way point, and timed my push just right so that I hit the finish line just as I ran out of energy. And, I ran about 5 seconds per mile under 10:00 pace! It was a really challenging course, but I'd be lying if I said I'd have run a ton faster on a flat course.
You see, I have become the runner I used to disdain. This 6.5 mile run was the longest I've run in 2 years. A year ago, I missed 2 months of the summer not running at all as I did physical therapy for my arthritic hip. My goals going into the race yesterday were, "Don't get hurt. Finish. If possible, run all the hills. Enjoy the beauty of Forest Park (here in Portland, OR)." I met all of my goals. I felt great about the morning and my performance! I saw a few young, light studs jogging back out the course chatting easily as they cooled down at a pace faster than I was running as I lumbered home. But, I know something they don't know (yet). I know that it is all gift. It is all grace. Even, my lumbering 10:00 miles.
I am now a 5:00 worker, both in my spiritual life and in my running and that is a very good thing to be.
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ReplyDeleteRunning, State Champions, and Grace.
ReplyDeleteI always wanted to be runner. As a high school student I ran on my schools’ track and cross-country teams respectively. On the cross-country team, I was “JV4Life” as we liked to coin ourselves. I was apart of the runners that would never break into the top seven fastest athletes of our team’s 80+ runners, and therefore never be apart of the varsity that would continue to make our team legendary in the state of Iowa.
So what was the point? Why continue to put my body through painful practices and painstakingly long runs when naturally my body would never allow me to run gracefully with ease or fast enough to score points for my team? Why continue running on a team, year after year, if my pathetically slow times would never score points for my team or help them to win a state championship? When state championship, after state championship was won, did I deserve to wear the t-shirt that proclaimed it? Did I deserve the patch that was sewn onto my letter jacket proclaiming that I was a “state champion”? What did my sub-par running do for the team? Yes, I practiced with them, but when it came to the end of the meet, I didn’t run in the race that counted.
I too struggled with the Parable of the Workers in the Field found in Matthew 20 because I truly believed the workers who worked all day deserved more than the 5 o’clock worker. How is it that the ones who showed up and worked an hour deserved the same pay as those who had worked 12 hours? Here they have been slaving away all day long, and the 5 o’clock worker has just been hanging out in the marketplace all day waiting for something to happen. Don’t the efforts and abilities of the all day workers deserve to be celebrated more than the rest?
The difference is that I come from the perspective of the 5 o’clock worker. Here I am walking in at the end of the day, and get paid the same as everyone. Immediately, I am filled with insecurity and doubt. What do these other people really think of me? What else does he want from me? Why did I get paid the same as everyone else? I don’t deserve this. Do I accept it or give it back? I am self-conscious and fill with questions, but I also know that there is something different about this boss, and I’m going to try to work for him again tomorrow and the next day.
Life spent on the JV of my cross-country team, is where I find my parallel with the 5 o’clock worker. Here we are Iowa state champions again 3 years out of 4. The top seven runners are handed their awards, t-shirts are made and given to them, patches proclaiming their success are created and passed out. Each of the seven runners, whose effort and abilities were better than everyone else’s in the state those years should be given more than everyone else on the team right? Out of the 80+ runners on the team, only these top seven put in extra hours of practice, learned more about strategy, and competed in the meet that proclaimed our team state champions. It’s only fair that these seven get “paid” more, right?
...continued.
ReplyDeleteSo why when we were proclaimed state champions did our coach (boss) get enough t-shirts for the top seven runners, plus 80 more? Why then did our coach make sure that each runner that made up our team those years get a patch to commemorate the event? Why then were the 80+ runners that came out for the team the next year, even the JV4Lifers, all labeled, state champions? We didn’t deserve it, did we? What did we do? We didn’t work the extra hours, we didn’t learn more about the strategies to win. We just came in at the end of the day, worked hard with the little time we had and to the best of our natural ability, but why then do we get the same treatment as the others?
In my faith, I have felt this often. I came in late and made many mistakes, I wasn’t as good as the other workers, and still often feel insecure and stupid, especially when receiving a gift that I don’t believe I truly deserve or earned. Yet, when Christ looks down on me, he doesn’t see that. He sees me as precious, honored in His sight, loved, and chosen. I don’t understand it, but I’m grateful for it, and it brings me an authentic joy.
I would say that I once was ashamed to be known as a 5 o’clock worker, but I am beginning to learn that “it is a very good thing to be.”
Thank you, Kaye for posting this. As a part of those teams to which Kaye is referring, I can say that you are one of the great leaders, Kaye, that I have ever known. There are many ways to contribute beyond points and times!
ReplyDeleteSteve, I have always enjoyed how you relate running to your faith! My thoughts as I read your post and Kaye's comments were the value of a team (in regards to running) and how that parallels the family of God (the 5 o'clock workers). Each member is important and plays an important role. Regardless of your ability in running or when you show up in the race of faith, the beautiful thing is that you are a part of the team/family and that gives value and identity. In our life or in running we might not always be "the best" but our position never changes-we are still part of God's family and a part of the team. That is what gives me great hope!
ReplyDeleteKaye, when I think of the "JV for lifers" I don't think of abilities or times. I remember heart, effort and excitement! I think of folks that were working just as hard or even harder than some of the more naturally talented runners, while encouraging others, loving what they were doing and being thrilled to be a part of the team's success. This similarity with the 5 o'clock worker encourages me in my faith because I want to be someone with the heart and desire to follow after the Lord but honest enough to admit my sins and limitations. Only then can I truly experience grace and the beauty of being adopted into God's family. Only then do I realize how awesome it is to be a part of something I don't deserve.
While everyone starts working in the field at different times, what matters is enduring and finishing. God knows we can't be perfect, he just asks us to keep going and stay focused on him.