The most important thing in youth ministry?

I teach a few youth ministry classes every year at George Fox. One of the questions that arise is, "What's the most important thing to focus on in youth ministry?" Programming, content, evangelism, discipleship?

Another way of putting this might, "How do we most impact a young person's life in youth ministry? What brings the most transformation?"

I've been toying with the idea that none of the things we typically identify to answer this question are what really matters the most. A statement I overhead from one of our Young Life kids back in Iowa City (circa 1999) illustrates what I mean. A weekly event in our ministry was 30-40 kids and 12-15 leaders gathering in our basement every Sunday evening for singing, sharing, laughing, reading the Bible together and talking about it. One of the ways we'd typically start the evenings was with "30 second sharing." (thanks, Katie Cook Iverson!). Kids and leaders would break into groups of three and literally have 30 seconds each to answer some easy questions (What was the highlight of the week? What TV show do you like best and why?) before taking more time to pray for each other. This particular week, one of the questions was, "What is your favorite place in the world?"The 2 kids in my triad were sharing things like, "This place in Florida we've gone to for spring break," but I could hear the group directly behind me and one of the seniors in that group said something very different.

"This basement. Hands down. The couple hours here every Sunday is far and away my favorite place in the world." 

What was he saying? Most likely, a lot of things, but as I've thought about it over the years, I've begun to come to this. What if it's much less important how many verses he expound upon that explicate the doctrine of grace than that we create communal places where grace is lived out? Or, if it's less important how excellent our games or worship ensembles are compared to the quality of unbridled enthusiasm with which we meet kids as they walk through the door?

The Bible talks a good bit about Shalom; God's sense of peace, wholeness, well-being, things-as-they-were-meant-to-be. We can describe that to kids and maybe even read verses about it, but what if they've never felt the reality of this in their actual lives? 

What if the primary task of a Young Life leader, or youth pastor is to create a place where Shalom happens? Might that have more life-transforming value than brilliantly crafted Bible studies? Might a young person who has lived and tasted of grace, welcome, acceptance, peace, forgiveness in a tangible way be better equipped to follow Jesus over the long haul than a kid who's been well-entertained by our hilarious skits and excellently educated by our biblical exegesis? 

At the end of Job, Job says to God, "Previously I had heard of you, but now I have seen you, experienced you." (my paraphrase). Does much of your youth ministry create kids who have heard of Jesus, heard of grace, learned ideas about forgiveness, love and community, but have not truly experienced them? 

I suspect that this is what that senior was describing. Somehow, there was something real and tangible in the experiences he had week after week in our basement that spoke to him of God's Shalom. 

I suspect that most of us that have had young people come into faith through our ministries in a way that really sticks for life, intuitively know this. We've had kids come home from college and share how much they miss the ministry, even though they don't reference our awesome talks or games. So, why then, do we dedicate so many books, seminars and planning meetings to working on programs if they aren't really the heart of ministry?

Thoughts?